Why we need to stop having gender reveal parties

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Gender reveal parties have become the new norm on social media and in people’s lives. Where once it was important for a parent to know the sex of the new baby so they could prepare the room to be “gender appropriate”, the world has moved on. Today it doesn’t really matter what gender your child will be and many people leave it as a surprise until the birth. However, there is also a growing trend of having a party to reveal the gender of your baby to families and friends once you find out.

These parties are becoming more and more elaborate too. What was once just about filling a room with either a pink or blue balloons has since seen people taking to the skies to release pink or blue spray behind an airplane. There have been cases where crocodiles have bitten into watermelons filled with either pink or blue slime, fireworks that are of a single color and much, much, more. However, in a strange twist the person who started it all and invented the gender reveal party, now says she wishes they never existed.

Jenna Karvundidis has been given the credit for inventing the idea of a gender reveal party. She is a blog writer and in 2008 was expecting a baby. She decided to bake a cake with a pink filling instead of the traditional yellow. This was a simple and fun way to tell her family and friends that she was having a baby girl. However, she says she has learned a lot since then and that if she was having a baby in 2020 there is no way she would have a gender reveal party. She now feels that the party is the first act of cruelty towards a child. Before they are even born they are being subjected to a binary idea that no longer fits modern society. 

The fact that old fashioned colors of blue and pink are still used is an even more stark indication of how outdated these parties have become. A boy enjoying pink and a girl enjoying blue is perfectly normal and whatever celebrations are going on during that party are possibly a form of discrimination. 

Gender is a social construct that has nothing to do with sexual organs and is not something that can be split into two categories. While of course, the sex of the child is important to know it does not determine the future of the child and what path they will follow. As an example, Karvundidis points to her daughter whose gender was revealed back in 2008. Now 12 years old this girl enjoys wearing suits and has a short hair cut, something that a traditional girl would not do, but who cares.

In reality, gender reveal parties are likely not a form of cruelty or discrimination from the parents. They are probably excited that they are having a baby and just want to celebrate every little moment they can. We could easily change the whole theme to having a “the baby first kicked” party and no one would mind. However, the real issue is when you have your baby and they start to grow up. Will they grow up in a room with predetermined toys and colors so that they can fit your idea of what they should be, or will they be free to choose? If your child grows up to be transgender how will they feel looking back at the photos of you celebrating them entering the world as a boy? It may sound harmless but it should be a growing concern in our more open society

From now on let’s just celebrate something else and still have a party with our friends and family. If a child having a penis or not is such a huge factor then keep that to yourself, don’t start lighting fireworks to highlight it.